Sometimes when I am by myself I can almost swear that I am being followed…
by a movie camera. That’s right you read that correctly, a movie camera. I can almost hear the over voice start to narrate what I am doing—kind of like in The Holiday where the Cameron Diez character hears the narration of her life— well that is what mine is, but not about not being able to cry or love but about pointless trivial things, think the shoes I am wearing or how I create wind when I walk like Ms. J teaches the girls on ANTM. I then feel like I am having an out of body experience which I imagine looks something like this (insert picture of dazed funny face) and then I go through this dream sequence where I have a sudden revelation that my life is REALLY like the Jim Carrey movie where his life is a TV show ( The Truman Show). So I quickly turn around to see where the secret cameras are and where the director is, and why they couldn’t get better actors to play my friends (just kidding about the friends). It’s like someone decided to film my life because let’s be honest I am just too interesting a person to let it go un-documented…yeah right I know, but a girl can dream can’t she?
On another completely unrelated note, I am pretty sure my dog thinks it’s funny to pee in my bathroom in front of the toilet early in the morning before I wake up just so she can secretly point and laugh at me when I almost step in it… Bitch
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